Kate Ashley-Norman – is a long-time resident, entrepreneur, mum, and owner of The Didim Hypnotherapy Clinic

WHAT is it that makes people up sticks and leave the country of their birth, their friends and family, familiarity, for fresh pastures?

The horrific events that we are currently seeing in places like Syria and Iraq illustrate how many people often have no choice but to grab what they can and make a run for it.

This is often referred to as ‘push’ factors for emigration – lack of political or religious rights, persecution, or intolerance based on race, religion, or gender, oppressive living conditions…. these are just a few of the reasons why some people are ‘pushed’ away from their homes.

Equally, there are many ‘pull’ factors that encourage migrants into a particular area – more often than not these come from greater economic opportunities – examples being the Gold Rush in California in the 1850s to the influx of Turkish ‘Gastarbeiter’ into Germany in the 1960s.

Indeed the UK has its own rich and diverse history of immigrants, inextricably linked with its commonwealth history, and more controversially these days, its generous benefits and health system.

Whatever the reason, migration has shaped and influenced communities all over the world, generation after generation.

But what makes us westerners leave our comfortable, secure, civilised, cushioned lives and homes, and head for pastures new.

Many people you talk to want to move away from the confines of living in what is often described as a nanny state which demands high taxes and a strict adherence to enforceable social behaviour.

 All the more so when your own compliance is overshadowed by so many others flouting the rules (the ASBO generation, tax dodging corporations, dodgy politicians). Others simply want to experience a different way of life, be absorbed into a different culture – often driven by a disappointment in what their own culture has to offer.

No wonder a flip flop, beachside based lifestyle in warmer and sunnier climes seems so appealing. Certainly, in my capacity as a local emlak  here in Didim, people always talk about finding their ‘dream home’. Channel 4’s Place in the Sun empire of magazine, TV Shows, internet portals and exhibitions focuses solely on helping ordinary people seek out that perfect dream home in the sun – making a veritable multi million pound industry for itself in the process.

But as we have seen and heard over the years, dreams can soon turn into nightmares. Stories of people losing their life savings and being ripped off on all sides have plagued this town for years, as they have other ex-pat havens the world over.

But what of those expats emigrants who have upped sticks and successfully settled with their pensions and savings intact? What of those who are living the dream, the flip flop lifestyle, the care-free, rain-free, stress-free existence of blue skies, cheap cigarettes and weekly bargains at the market – and yet are still not satisfied with the life they have made for themselves.  Why is it that so often dreams can turn sour for no apparent reason?

Too often the blame is put on the town, the street dogs, the council, the interest rates, the unaccounted for additional costs of living, the changing face of bureaucracy…… everything which is external and beyond the ‘control’ of the person who just wants to get on and live their life in peace. So a new destination is chosen.

And for a while peace and happiness reigns, until a new local reality sets in, and once again sets off the spiral into disillusionment.

Contentment with one’s life starts from within. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I do not hold much court with fluffy spiritual nonsense. So when I say that your happiness starts from within, I mean from your internal locus of control – that place inside of you from where you get your strength and power.

Too many of us have a locus of control which is external – we allow events outside of us to affect us unnecessarily emotionally.

Turning your locus of control from external to internal is an incredibly simple, but amazingly effective, route to being truly happy, no matter what place you find yourself in.

Understand that external events do not ‘do’ things to you, rather it is the way you react to, and think about, external events that mean you make yourself unhappy. Once you have grasped this concept, you’ll begin to understand that finding your dream home is never the answer to finding happiness.