VOICES columnist Amy Idem, originally from a small market town in Lancashire, is now living with her husband and three children, in Idil, in Turkey’s south eastern province of Şırnak. She writes about her cultural and life experiences here, and on her blog: https://memyselfandidil.wordpress.com/

Expat diaries

AN EXPAT life always seems so very appealing to those who have no experience of living it. Often we are hit with comments about how lucky we are to live in the sun and near the sea, how lucky we are to live in a land that is so steeped in culture.

But those of us who are expats know that this is not always the reality. I live somewhere where there is no sea for a start, there are no other expats, when there is sun it is so blazingly hot I can’t stand to be in it for more than ten minutes, in winter we experience such low temperatures the pipes freeze and we spend days without running water.

There are moments when I love nothing more than being an expat, when I sit on my sister in laws balcony and look out to the mountains.

There isn’t a cloud in the sky and I feel so privileged to live in the midst of such natural beauty. There are times when I couldn’t imagine a life without people calling in randomly for a glass of çay and a chat.

When I go back to my hometown in the UK, I walk into town and I miss the customary kiss on each cheek from elderly ladies that is such a normal part of my everyday life now.

I feel so integrated in every aspect of life here, that I just couldn’t imagine living anywhere else in the world. These are the best times, when I remember how truly lucky I am to be here, the struggles and the time spent apart endured just waiting for the time when we could finally live together in this diverse country.

The less enjoyable times are thankfully fewer and further apart, but expat life is sometimes not all it is cracked up to be.

There are times when we feel homesick for the land we left behind, when we miss those loved ones that we haven’t seen face to face for months or years, when we just wish we could join in all the festivals and special days regardless of our religion.

Particularly after living in the same town in the UK all my life, I got used to the traditional festivals every year: the Whit Monday parade and the Victorian Festival were when some of my favourite childhood memories were made.

Although some would argue that it’s simple enough to visit home at those times of year so I can allow my children to have the same experiences as I did as a child but oftentimes lack of funds and other complications make this in itself difficult.

Another aspect of expat life that I believe is difficult, is missing the foods of our home countries.

It may sound ridiculous when surrounded by mouth-wateringly delicious Turkish cuisine that all I can think about is a Fray Bentos chicken and mushroom pie but so is the way of the world.

I try to recreate as much of the traditional English food as I can but sometimes it is difficult. We don’t have a world food aisle in our supermarket and we don’t have shops that sell Robinson’s Cordial and other well loved British treats.

I am however lucky enough to have my parents send me parcels filled with chocolate goodies and other essentials regularly. As a whole, these things aren’t enough to stop me living here.

Even if my husband could get a visa to live in the UK, I don’t think this would be an option for us anymore. And while I do feel left out and somewhat lonely when its Christmas Day or Easter, I would feel exactly the same if I was in the UK when it’s the Kurdish festival of Newroz or the Muslim festival Bayram.

I do miss my homeland regularly but for now, I’m content with the odd visit here and there.